Mrs. Huxtable

Mrs. Huxtable,

I know you got a man, but I’m in love with you.

I’m just being honest, and I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable,

but I can no longer wait to tell you what’s on my mind.

In time, his love declines while I’m wasted on the sidelines, but I know…

They say your pride can prevent progress,

and when you smile, it’s only beauty in my optics.

Clair, stop it.

You better tell Clifford he better watch it.

I’ll choke him with that sweater, then beat him with foreign objects.

Such class.

Not trying to be disrespectful, but I love your ahhh—

I respect you too much to say it.

Considering your situation, it’s inappropriate for me to even think it.

Just know it rhymes with “pass.”

Remove the p.

You make me wanna say something corny, like 1 + 1 equals you and me.

Make me lay my cashmere over a puddle so your fancy heels can stay clean.

Just wanted to tell you that I can’t keep you off my mind.

What are you supposed to do when you think a love that belongs to you

is someone else’s—

and you’re no longer willing to wait in line?

And spoken for…

Either shut the fuck up, or tell her she’s the one you’ve been waiting for