40th Anniversary B.D. (Before Death)

I appreciate how you always start with love

before you tear me down, inside and out.

Be mindful of who you were.

Be proud of who you are.

Be optimistic about who you are going to be.

It’s a process.

Allow yourself some grace.

You used to push your first son in the stroller,

pushing nickel-and-dime bags hidden in the WIC folder.

Now you push:

love,

life,

art,

and experience—

even as this world gets colder.

Don’t worry about others’ narratives of you.

That will never be your story.

If they were never willing to hear your side,

they were looking to view you poorly.

Continue to work on your goals

and your desire to leave an inheritance to your sons.

Try not to chase pleasure

or fall victim to your vices—

and you’ll succeed when it’s said and done.

This is a marathon.

How you start is not how you finish.

Learn from your mistakes,

but don’t make them a life sentence.

I know you wish you were further along,

accomplished—

but that doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

Be proud of your progression,

your growth,

and allow time to tell your tale.

Keep close the ones that truly love you,

and remove that feeling of being alone.

A nomad throughout your life,

but I genuinely believe one day

you’ll call a place home.

As conceited as these lines may be,

I am so proud of you.

Considering your past,

in the present,

I’m excited to see the things you’ll do.